is gathering 100 signatures to
Facebook Must Block Illicit Images And Videos Of Children
I was raped by my father when I was 6 years old. Held down. I didn't understand what was happening. My mother was self absorbed, sick, and never believed me. I hated her. I wished her dead every day of my life. She passed in 2007. She will no longer call me a "faggot" My views on sex are strict. Therapists and I have talked about it. But, they have no idea how it I fight with it, as if there were a ninja in my head. People say its gets easier, better. My anger and hate has grown so strong, I lived my life around strict guidelines. Everything had to be controlled. I controlled other people, making sure they were safe. Sex was a weapon. A dirty way to humiliate and hurt someone. I thought "If I love someone truly, I respect boundaries." Tears have streamed down my face because there is no solution, no resolve. Things will get better with time I suppose. After years of this battle, I'm exhausted. I no longer believe in gay relationships or have hope for one. I've been misunderstood too many times. A second "Family" has turned its back on me, all but for my friend. This isn't a pity party, these are realities of my life. Im reaping the consequences of trying to discover who I am. Ive always belonged to someone else, and had no identity. I'm seeing myself, I do not like what I see. I usually end on a positive note, but it to please others. I really don't care if I have relationships or not. Im too sensitive, caring, loving, heartfelt. To open those feelings again would be hell. I wan't to be alone. I hate therapy, Im done being poked and prodded. Im tired of the medications. I don't enjoy life. I never blame others for my disposition. However, Im no longer going to walk around with a fake smile being polite. Its really not me. Sex offenders need some sort of ankle monitor where they cannot operate a computer or be near one. Children and porn is worse than any kind of abuse. It causes the child to live a life of confusion, anger, issues, possible addiction, for the rest of their lives.
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