The war goes on! Many innocent people die. Why I omly post about this? Warum ich derzeit nur über dieses Thema poste? I am touched, I can not sleepanymore! On both sides I have good friends! Intimacy and a political heart come togehter! I know in Syria, Ukraine, everywhere the same pain! We have to act!
Etty Hillesum, who on November 30th, 1943 at the age of 29 was murdered at Auschwitz, bears witness to the depth of this experience of total surrender. She did not want to abscond from the fate of the Jews, the “mass fate”, although coming from a fami- ly of artists she personally would have had the possibility. She did not see how the Jewish proletariat could elude the Holocaust and took it to be her inner duty to participate in their fate so as to not abandon people. In her book “An Interrupted Life” she describes her own development very touchingly:
The sudden breakthrough to something that is to become my own truth. Human kindness for which I have to fight. Not in politics or in a political party but in myself. But still false shame to express it. And God. The girl that would not kneel but came to learn it after all and this, on a rough coconut mat in an untidy bathroom. But these things are almost more intimate that the sexual ones. (...) It is as if, with a jolt, I had returned to my base. A little more independent and autonomous. (...) I wish I could repeat what I murmured half-loud: God, take me by your hand, I will follow obediently, without being too reluctant. I will not elude myself, whatever may come towards me in
this life I shall process it as best as I can. But give me sometimes a short moment of rest. I will no longer believe in all simplicity that peace, should it overcome me, will last for ever, I shall also accept the unrest and the fight that are to follow. I like to be in warmth and security but I shall not refuse to go into the cold if only your hand guides me. On your hand I shall go anywhere and I shall try not to be too timid. I shall try to radiate some of the love, the human kindness that is with- in me, wherever I shall be. But with the word “human kindness” one must not brag. One never knows whether one truly has it. I do not want to be anything special. I only want to try to be the one who is still looking to unfold her self inside of me fully.
Faced with her experience of the concentration camp she contin- ues to write:
The misery is really big, but nevertheless, I often walk late in the evening when the day behind me has sunk away into profundity. I walk with whipping steps along the barbed wire and then it wells up out of my heart again and again – I cannot help it, it is the way it is, it is of an elementary power: Life is something wonderful and big, later we have to build up a whole new world – and each further crime and each further cruelty we have to contrast with a further piece of love and goodness which we have to conquer within ourselves. We are allowed to suffer but we are not allowed to break.
Sabine Lichtenfels Foto
Sabine Lichtenfels Foto
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