My family lost my brother at the age of 24 to a gunshot wound to his head. He did this in front of his wife. The family was totally devastated. I was especially so because not only was he my brother he was my best friend. We did a lot of things together. That was 22 years ago this past July 12th. We were not allowed to have his service until the 17th of July because according to the laws of Missouri, an autopsy had to be performed due to the nature of his death. It seems like it was yesterday. July is a very hard month for me because all I can think about is my brother, of course I think of him all of the time, but July is the worst. I too have suicidal tendencies and almost succeeded at the age of 18. If I hadn't been taken to the hospital when I was, I would have been gone within 15 minutes form an overdose. Just a few weeks ago, I was thinking of taking all of my medications and laying down to go to sleep and to never wake up again. This also happened this past November. So I started thinking of my granddaughters and family and how we felt when we lost my brother and I called 911 instead (in November I had my boyfriend take me to the hospital). Believe me no matter how down you may get or feel, God has a purpose for you or He would have already taken you! Just try to keep that in mind as well as what it would do to your loved ones! If you feel like you can't handle things anymore call 1-800-356-5395. This is a crisis hot line and they are there to talk to you. And if you are still feeling suicidal, they will call for help for you. Please, your life is too precious to throw it away! God Bless all of you that have these feelings. As i said, I do so as well. You are NOT ALONE!