It wasn't anything that I did. An unwanted pregnancy scheduled for abortion 3000 miles away from home. Unborrowed guilty circumstance, time and distance are destined to split the bond between 30yr old twin sisters. One who's shame hides behind mounds of starch clouding a strict R Catholic family's preordained expectations and commitments. Abortion unsuccessful. Another 7 month on the west coast to adopt but then a change of heart 4 imonths after my birth shatters my entire comfort zone for the rest of my life and forces me to become the big secret. There was no love bestowed, but rather constant reminder that I should not really exist and that image is everything no matter the cost. A solid foundation of insecurity and negative self image began to manifest beneath a bullshit polished outward appearance so as to alert the wolves but not lead on. I've always maintained a solid position of observation in order to get the bigger picture to ensure all my bases were covered and everyone was accounted for. I became a plastic vision to mask the disaffectionate always picked on and picked apart person I was who always needed your approval and an acknowledgement in order to feel like I existed, that I mattered and had a purpose even if at the time I couldn't quite pinpoint exactly what that purpose might be. It was not until I had at last realized complete and total abandonment drenched in betrayal that left me a lonely, scared, misunderstood and under appreciated crumpled mess that I at last stood on my own accord and learned to walk without any outside influence or assistance. I woke up. I began to over analyze every road i travelled which brought me to this place I found myself at. The only starting place was with me. It had to start with me. Once I began to find the things I loved about me It all began to make sense and a new purpose was born. No one to impress now but me. Upon the realization that one's outward appearance means nothing compared to one's ability to evoke pride in one's self. To become more self aware and that of my surroundings and those around me would establish a new path with a broader spectrum. Once I learned to love myself I would gain a greater understanding of what love is to me and better my chances at sharing that with another. Looking for a common link or bond amidst the diversities among us all is where we find our most common links and strongest bond. What we share makes us equals like our desire to live regardless of what resistance we encounter. To draw that next breath and to relish in all that we feel. As sentient beings WE ALL FEEL. You bleed just as I do and the pain from the wound just as real. How arrogant and small one would have to be to think that another creature that breathes the same air and feels pain and emotions just as you do, who's dreams, thoughts and emotions could be of any lesser importance than you value as your own. Less struggle, increased knowledge and mutual understanding leading to further acceptance and advancement are only possible when you share. A greater power is achieved when you combine forces. Harmony achieved by a mutual quest for knowledge and often successful advancement vs discord, chaos and strife often leading to failure. Which would you support? Would you not as well protest if someone imposed limits or denied you of your life? That adage, "I feel therefore I am" is shared by every sentient being on in the universe. There is no difference among the many species. Yin and Yang will always be. Harmony is achieved when you don't upset either and maintain balance between the two. Life is the one gift each and everyone of us shares equally. We all have it and we all want to keep it and for it to be acknowledged and respected by others. Isn't that a common goal worth us working toward together? Please help raise the consciousness of this fact amongst all creatures great and small. We have nothing to lose yet so much to gain.