I Too Knew That I Did Not Fall Into The Prescribed HIGH RISK GROUPS. As a professional educated career mother of four grown children who partners were limited to 3 intimate exclusive men *my children's fathers*. IT COULD NOT HAPPEN TO SOMEONE LIKE ME, RIGHT.....
I knew many fallen friends and their loss impacted my life in a way which I did not discriminate against any race, lifestyle, illness and made a commitment that I would champion this cause. I started in 1988 with a website with more than 680 members who could connect in a safe environment where their particular needs were supported without reprisal and disinterested other HIV AIDS Forums that discriminated against color, gender, source of contact, newbies.
I was disguised with the lack of empathy or support or lack of membership connection. I continually to my disguise site upon site made it clear people did not belong nor their personal needs were made by these site members to make one feel unwanted, stupid, you deserve to be ill attitude. I was appalled and spoke out and advocated in a professional forum my feelings. All sites booted me out then my own site had a virus which affected each of my members and disbanded my site unable to retrieve any info and the system investigation access blocked.
I can assure you that my participation in those forum were with comments and questions which I in detail researched and duly put down as I was not recognized as a credible expert particularly I was a Hetero Female totally different and irrelevant with my postings deleted or blocked.
Actually I am certain that my years and years of research covering illness to wellness to alternate forms of treatment as complimentary to medication. I can explain their lack of alternate option due to their sites supported by the pharmaceutical coo.
I had no business questioning the experts and leading researchers, they still did not have a cure, whereas I witnessed success when a combination of treatments were combined, ie acupuncture, reikki, massage therapy, protein drinks, diet and food accelerators, yoga, connection and group participation, vitamins, social circles where each member experience and expertise was available to all members ie legal, accounting, alternate treatment gurus.
My site was FINAL JEWEL a strange name however very integral to the progression and development of medication. Not one Forum expert or as we call long living patients veterans could tell me who, why or what Final Jewel was. Nor could they answer who and when was the linked catalyst discovered. I was not interested in who took the fame for this research.
The Researcher was A Female Doctor, a Jewish unrecognized and considered as lab technician, other than the chemical components she named her findings after the most revered and honored its name after her devoted dog JEWEL and her development of a drug which was in its primal level still requiring further research however used by the other researchers liberally available and prescribed for incorrect usage. One was to pregnant women suffering from morning sickness, resulting in a plaque of babies born without limbs .... Flatimid Of course we can guess whose reputation was reputed.
In later years after congruent research its form is now know as the drug called INTERFERON used to treat HEP C.. The most lethal injected drug with such severe side effects Physicians regiments alternate treatment with last resource being Interferon. I can attest to effects and side symptoms and physical limitation of my one year treatment.
The most heart retching loss of personal control and helplessness is volunteering in a hospice with day to day AIDS patient support sounding board, confident, friend, intimate caressing and hugging, sole visitor, unconditional guardian showing care and love helping patient self acceptance, laughing and rem incing without guilt a palliative journey not alone but with a person who tributes and respect the person who s not defined by the illness.
I can not make anyone understand what it feels like to not be held, cuddled, kissed, unloved, alone and tabooed relinquished to years of not feeling, ashamed and inner belief that this is their fault and their punishment to doom themselves.
Friends and Family forgotten only remembered by the current persona remiss to the entire life and person. A person is defined by the last negative thing that they are remembered for. Do you know that 13 days are the average stay in a hospice before death. I favor my intervention to extend AIDS Patients to look to leaving the Hospice with their renewed spirit and positive mind set