Diane Parks
Diane Parks

I clicked "no" because if you decide to start a family, you better have it planned out before hand. Stop forcing employers to do what suits you all the time. If you feel Dads should have paternity leave, then maybe Dad needs to be working from home.

Ricky Cortez
Ricky Cortez
  • Diane Parks

What are your thoughts on a 2 dad family?

Kelly McDonald Herod
Kelly McDonald Herod
  • Diane Parks

Diane is out in space some where!

Jennifer S. VanDerveer
Jennifer S. VanDerveer
  • Diane Parks

It's not my businesses of the sex of the parents; just as long as they are good parents. However, one of them needs to take the role of mommy...all children need mommies. The one that takes the more masculine role (because all little boy's need strong daddies and all little girls need a father figure) needs to go to work and bring home the paycheck to pay for the babies..

Ricky Cortez
Ricky Cortez
  • Diane Parks

Hi Jennifer, I think you may be confusing "mommies" with gender roles and more important "nurturing" . Single parents (male or female) can provide a wonderful home to a child without having to fullfil these societal stereotypes. Strength can and often does come from many mother-parents, but does not have to be masculine. I feel the "need" may be yours and not developmentally what a child actually needs. Role models come in all sorts . . . people with bad male or female role models can...

Hi Jennifer, I think you may be confusing "mommies" with gender roles and more important "nurturing" . Single parents (male or female) can provide a wonderful home to a child without having to fullfil these societal stereotypes. Strength can and often does come from many mother-parents, but does not have to be masculine. I feel the "need" may be yours and not developmentally what a child actually needs. Role models come in all sorts . . . people with bad male or female role models can find others. It is the parents' job(s) to give them those opportunities. But we all deserve those moments with our newborn without having to both quit or forced out of their jobs, there is a balance we should have for out future children.

Diane Parks
Diane Parks
  • Diane Parks

Ricky... You have commented on almost everyone here that said "no". Please respect our opinion and our voting rights. This CAUSE question appeared to be aimed at a Female/Male marriage with a newborn. I said it earlier that a pregnancy needs to be planned. That's being responsible parents. You need to look elsewhere for your CAUSE for Gays and Adoption.

Dave Porter
Dave Porter
  • Diane Parks

Jennifer S. Stephansen Bell I have no idea what you're trying to say ,except you're pro homo, and that wasn't even the topic of this talk.

Bill Vine
Bill Vine
  • Diane Parks

Again with your non-sense. Some people can save up to stay home, not "need" to go to work to pay for their babies.... You Miss Jenny,,,, are a real treat.

Tom Blount
Tom Blount
  • Diane Parks

kids need a Mommie n a Daddy- that is the natural thing in all species except humans- not Gay bashing- just a simple statement of fact-

Alissa Exantus
Alissa Exantus
  • Diane Parks

I don't think it was geared towards just Female/Male marriage Diane. I'm on Ricky's side. And as someone who teaches huge undergraduate courses on Human Sexuality, and Sex-Roles Cross-Culturally, I have to say ya'll maybe should consider enrolling. I love working. I will never, ever give it up. I love babies too---in fact, as a PhD student, I study infants and infancy in Haiti. I will never be a stay-at-home mom. I live in too many places where it is clear that children and infants need...

I don't think it was geared towards just Female/Male marriage Diane. I'm on Ricky's side. And as someone who teaches huge undergraduate courses on Human Sexuality, and Sex-Roles Cross-Culturally, I have to say ya'll maybe should consider enrolling. I love working. I will never, ever give it up. I love babies too---in fact, as a PhD student, I study infants and infancy in Haiti. I will never be a stay-at-home mom. I live in too many places where it is clear that children and infants need varieties of relationships (grandmothers, friends, aunts, uncles, fathers) and that leaving them with one woman, all day long, can have really unfortunate psychological consequences. We don't believe babies are part of a society in this country---and its a problem. Fathers need to have to have the option to stay home. So do transgendered people, women, and anyone else who is a legal caregiver of a child. For the sake of the child.

John Jarvis
John Jarvis
  • Diane Parks

Ricky Cortez
Why ask questions you already know the answer to? Any child adopted by homosexual or lesbian couples will be subject to taunts and ridicule later. Not being able to have children is the down side to being a homosexual so just accept this and not assume that everything will be fine because most people these days are so PC they don't want to tell you.

Ricky Cortez
Ricky Cortez

Most employers are not educated on adoption. Sometimes you can not leave the state you are adopting from for 2-4 weeks and then some daycares the earliest you can place the child is 4 months, which can pose a problem in a 2 dad household. Remember we were all once babies.

Sarah Bennett
Sarah Bennett
  • Ricky Cortez

you sound like a really good Dad :)

George Karavidas
George Karavidas
  • Ricky Cortez

For the Father that lives by law and cares heart-fully alongside with his wife (I mean a woman) for his Biological Family, then he doesn't need any allowances from no one, as he has his life partner (his wife) to support each other when one has to care for the child (mainly the mother unless otherwise). Also: Never forget to include in the Biological Family; the Grands, the Uncles the Aunties and the Cousins! To those that are fostering children for publicity or a need for that matter......

For the Father that lives by law and cares heart-fully alongside with his wife (I mean a woman) for his Biological Family, then he doesn't need any allowances from no one, as he has his life partner (his wife) to support each other when one has to care for the child (mainly the mother unless otherwise). Also: Never forget to include in the Biological Family; the Grands, the Uncles the Aunties and the Cousins! To those that are fostering children for publicity or a need for that matter... including the Gay and Lesbians better read (and fast) the book call: 'The Right to be a Man and a Father' published by Argus Publishing from North Carolina, email: [email protected], that hopefully will (the Lesbians and Gay) change attitude towards their weaknesses in to the most rewarding and happy Biological Family!!! The book will also interest the church, the Legislators worldwide as well, the future Foster Parents and the American Divorced Family in particular that has been trapped through the Divorced Industry separating the Father (mostly) from his Biological child...

Alissa Exantus
Alissa Exantus
  • Ricky Cortez

psychooooooooooooooooooooooo

Marie Wagenaar
Marie Wagenaar
  • Ricky Cortez

America is all about money, not about family. Employers, the unions and the legislators could really give a damn about us. Even though we pay the lion's share in taxes, which is more than the bribes they take altogether, the only voice we have is at the ballot, and they are doing their best to rig that away too.

Denice Thibaut
Denice Thibaut
  • Ricky Cortez

One man and one woman that's it. I have friends that are gay I openly supported them while others threw stones (not literally) but if I were to give up a baby for adoption it would be because I wanted better for that baby. I have seen little kids talking about their 2 moms or 2 dads it wouldn't be better than the poorest conditions I could offer (but thank God I was never in this type of situation). Let me be clear on the following I don't care if you are offended I am entitled to my opinion and I will only be offended that you are offended.

Andrew Cotterill
Andrew Cotterill
  • Ricky Cortez

hey George, are you for real?

Denice Thibaut
Denice Thibaut
  • Ricky Cortez

Andrew WOW I didn't read George till you popped up on the screen he sort of went off line with that little rant of his, I have to say I didn't understand half of it.

Sarah Bennett
Sarah Bennett
  • Ricky Cortez

George Karavidas Thank you for being a sensible, open minded person &choosing to help others on this thread. I found that link helpful myself &I don't have children myself yet.
that gives me hope for a brighter future :)

Diane Parks
Diane Parks
  • Ricky Cortez

@ Alissa... a PhD student calling someone "psychooooooooooooooooooooooo". You scare the crap out of me. You, my dear, should not be licensed as a shrink.

Ali Ahmad
Ali Ahmad
  • Ricky Cortez

yes I am and I think you feel the depth of these worlds I can say you are good mom

Lisa DeSmidt
Lisa DeSmidt

In California fathers are eledgable for 6 weeks of paid family leave through the state, and mothers get the same. Mothers also get 6 weeks of disability for actually giving birth and need that time to physically recover. Personally, I don't think mothers should be separated from their babies for the first year. Especially if they are breast feeding. Our society has it all backwards. Work, work, work, for what? To buy a new car. Your baby should be the most important thing in the world....

In California fathers are eledgable for 6 weeks of paid family leave through the state, and mothers get the same. Mothers also get 6 weeks of disability for actually giving birth and need that time to physically recover. Personally, I don't think mothers should be separated from their babies for the first year. Especially if they are breast feeding. Our society has it all backwards. Work, work, work, for what? To buy a new car. Your baby should be the most important thing in the world. Don't buy a new car save that $$ and stay home with your baby.

Art Frailey
Art Frailey
  • Lisa DeSmidt

Good Mommy, Lisa, hang in there !!!

Dave Porter
Dave Porter
  • Lisa DeSmidt

and look at the shape Cali .is in . the Largest debtor , welfare state in the country. They expect everyone to cover anything that passes as a thought.

Andrea Shettle
Andrea Shettle
  • Lisa DeSmidt

You assume that all working couples can necessarily afford to live on one income for a year and only work for the luxuries. But not everyone is that economically privileged. Many families have ALREADY cut out all the luxuries and have nothing left they can cut and still, literally, survive.

Alissa Exantus
Alissa Exantus
  • Lisa DeSmidt

A woman doesn't need to stay at home to breastfeed----in many other countries, such as those where I work (east Africa, Carribean) women can take their youngest babies on the job with them...obviously not practical if you are a clerk---but then again, why aren't there on-the-job daycares?

Gail Toffey
Gail Toffey
  • Lisa DeSmidt

Great points, Lisa D!!!

Hank Vonk
Hank Vonk
  • Lisa DeSmidt

California is ALSO BANKRUPT!! You cannot expect the Government,. to carry you from Cradle to grave! Mothers, I can see leave and no job loss.... But not GOVERNMENT PAID! GET REAL!!

Hank Vonk
Hank Vonk
  • Lisa DeSmidt

Andrea Shettle : If you cannot afford to even HAVE the kid, how can you afford to RAISE IT?? Maybe some people, need to start ACTING like adults, and make SMART decisions on their OWN lives??

Dustin W. Taunton
Dustin W. Taunton
  • Lisa DeSmidt

Well said Dave. Im one of the less than 50% here in California paying for these failed policies.

Jessica Danielson
Jessica Danielson
  • Lisa DeSmidt

So hank, if as a couple they are capable to provide for the child, but as a single parent they have financial difficulties, does that still make them a worthless leech in your eyes? WHEN ONE PARENT DITCHES ON THE FAMILY ARE ALL THE REST SUPPOSED TO SUFFER BECAUSE OF THEIR BAD DECISION ? OR ARE WE AS A SOCIETIES SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO HELP EACH OTHER ?

Jennifer S. VanDerveer
Jennifer S. VanDerveer

I am 100% for mothers being allotted the opportunity to take paternity leave, but the fathers...come on. This is an awesome Country, but I think we are going way overboard when we start saying the fathers need leave too. For many many many years the fathers go to work...stay at work...and provide for their families. That's their job! As for two father households...like mentioned in a previous post...one should go to get their beautiful new baby/child and one should go to work. One of them needs to ware the pants!

Ricky Cortez
Ricky Cortez
  • Jennifer S. VanDerveer

We both wear pants, why can't we just share that time with our newborn. Attachment is very important when you did not carry the child during the pregnancy, for the child and the parents . . . especially in foster care. Its about sharing and love, not superiority of parenting and gender roles.

Erik Stewart
Erik Stewart
  • Jennifer S. VanDerveer

women want equal rights, so should men.

Jennifer S. VanDerveer
Jennifer S. VanDerveer
  • Jennifer S. VanDerveer

I know first hand about the importance of non-biological parents needing to quickly bond with their new babies. I was forced to give up my son when I sixteen and I pray to God that his new parents spent every minute with him, loving him, cuddling him, and bonding with him. This is my main issue...and it is simple. It is not the employers job to care about your personal needs, even when it come to beautiful precious little babies. Lets say I am the boss/owner of a car part factory. I hire 25...

I know first hand about the importance of non-biological parents needing to quickly bond with their new babies. I was forced to give up my son when I sixteen and I pray to God that his new parents spent every minute with him, loving him, cuddling him, and bonding with him. This is my main issue...and it is simple. It is not the employers job to care about your personal needs, even when it come to beautiful precious little babies. Lets say I am the boss/owner of a car part factory. I hire 25 people (men and women) to work the factory line. I pay all my employees every week. I am never late with their paychecks. I allow a certain amount of sick days per year. If someone has a baby..that's their choice..their personal issue. Not mine. If any one of my employees make the decision to take off work, more than the allotted sick days, that's their choice. However, in doing so now I have to hire someone else. Am I suppose to fire the new employee when the person who left decides its time to come back? If you want time off from work to "bond" with your new babies...then I hope to God you planed this out. I hope you saved some money to be able to quit your job to spend time with your new baby. It is not my responsibility to hold your position. Why should it be???? Why should my life be turned upside down because you decided to have babies?? Explain that?

Andrea Shettle
Andrea Shettle
  • Jennifer S. VanDerveer

Why is it automatically the man's job to earn an income just because he's a man? If YOU want to adhere to traditional gender roles in YOUR life, have at it. After all ... it's YOUR life. But please don't impose your values on the rest of us via policies that discriminate against Dads (which, as Ricky Cortez has been pointing out here, does inherently have a disproportionate and unfair impact on two-Dad households).

Bill Vine
Bill Vine
  • Jennifer S. VanDerveer

Man oh man, it takes all kinds doesn't it. Some bellyache to get out of the stone-age while others cry to stay there....

Phillip Holman
Phillip Holman
  • Jennifer S. VanDerveer

In family matters, the laws and courts overwhelmingly favor women. If maternity leave exceeds the woman's medical requirements, it is paternity leave and gender biased if not offerred to bothe parents is unconstitutional, whether or not recognized as such. Far more importantly, this is a critically important time for parental bonding ...and as the stats all show, children want and need two loving parents.

Linda Charles
Linda Charles
  • Jennifer S. VanDerveer

At last someone who talks sense - I am fully with you Jennifer.

Matei Negriu
Matei Negriu
  • Jennifer S. VanDerveer

Mothers to take paternity leave? What did you smoke??? Paternity = to be the FATHER of smth ...

Jim Carpenter
Jim Carpenter

As a dad, I know the importance of sharing parenting duties with the mom - from changing diapers to giving baths to feeding, etc., etc., etc. (the list goes on). If we dads have that mindset (no matter whether we get time off from work or not) we can relieve some of the stress from our spouses while we build life-long bonds with our kids. What I would personally like to see is ALL companies giving about 2 weeks PAID leave to the dads and up to 6 weeks unpaid leave after that. I realize the...

As a dad, I know the importance of sharing parenting duties with the mom - from changing diapers to giving baths to feeding, etc., etc., etc. (the list goes on). If we dads have that mindset (no matter whether we get time off from work or not) we can relieve some of the stress from our spouses while we build life-long bonds with our kids. What I would personally like to see is ALL companies giving about 2 weeks PAID leave to the dads and up to 6 weeks unpaid leave after that. I realize the hardship that this might put on businesses so I'm not sure they should offer more. Ideally, the government would not have to require businesses to give time off to dads. Ideally the businesses would all do it as a benefit to attract the best workers for their company. I think in the long run, America needs to acknowledge the importance of moms and dads in our lives. We are becoming more-and-more a daycare and babysitting country!

Debbie Sutherland
Debbie Sutherland
  • Jim Carpenter

yes but with pay

Sarah Bennett
Sarah Bennett
  • Jim Carpenter

I wish there were more fathers' who wanted to be involved like you

Earnest Sanders
Earnest Sanders
  • Jim Carpenter

Moms stayed at home and Dads worked for many centuries, and it worked. What's all this "feminization" of our men all about? Dad's will never have the same relationship with their kids as Mom does...they didn't carry them for nine months!!!

Blair Bitternose
Blair Bitternose
  • Jim Carpenter

It's not Feminant to be a Good Dad, it- RESPOSIBILTY- In Ur Right a Man will never have the same relationship with Their Children in a Dominant Paternalistic Society- We have to change this way of thinking, because way to much Woman are getting The Shaft as they Grow Older and getting Dumped after they spend their Adult life looking after Children, with No Skills to fall back on- As a Native Male I know the Importance of Turning the Tables and Start living in a Matriarchic Role Society-...

It's not Feminant to be a Good Dad, it- RESPOSIBILTY- In Ur Right a Man will never have the same relationship with Their Children in a Dominant Paternalistic Society- We have to change this way of thinking, because way to much Woman are getting The Shaft as they Grow Older and getting Dumped after they spend their Adult life looking after Children, with No Skills to fall back on- As a Native Male I know the Importance of Turning the Tables and Start living in a Matriarchic Role Society- The Givers of Life have a Tremendous amount of Power that a Male will never have- I feel it is Feminent to Think otherwise...

Willard Eversole
Willard Eversole
  • Jim Carpenter

amen brother you are right on target..

Vera Kinkade
Vera Kinkade
  • Jim Carpenter

I gree with you Jim, If mroe Dads woud get ivolved with Loving the new born They might be closer to te child.

Samantha Smith
Samantha Smith
  • Jim Carpenter

Earnest Sanders -the "feminization" of men? Since Mom's have a nine month head start on bonding with their child, Dad's should make an effort to catch up. Of course the relationships won't be the same. Daddy - Daughter bonds are different from, but as important as, Mommy - Daughter bonds. Same applies to Sons. Guys like you wonder why your child does not have a good relationship with you. Clue - it's because they don't know you! Bond with them early and often, or regret it when it's almost to late to repair the damage.

Colin Aitken
Colin Aitken

Femanists fought for equal rights if it is equal let it be equal, not one sided I had to raise my 2 by myself because she ran off, don't let the femanists have all the control, & what happens when she has complications & can't care for the baby, & then remember it's a learning curve for both parents for the first child anyway so why even ask it's really on compassionate grounds anyway because you are asking for unpaid leave.

Jean Peacock
Jean Peacock
  • Colin Aitken

A lot of mothers have had to do same thing , I am sorry that it happened to you but someone has to look after the children

Maribel Del Villar Pérez
Maribel Del Villar Pérez
  • Colin Aitken

What's are femAnists? And what femAnists are arguing against Paternity Leave? Are these femanist people the opposite of feminists and argue AGAINST gender equality?

Caroline Lafavore
Caroline Lafavore

Why not, if a new father can afford to take 12 weeks of non paid time off to bond with a new baby then let him. It is so important for fathers to bond with their children.

Justin Roman
Justin Roman
  • Caroline Lafavore

Yes it is, and I wish that was true in my case!

Caroline Lafavore
Caroline Lafavore
  • Caroline Lafavore

me too!

Elaine Jones
Elaine Jones

I'm from UK but my 1st child was born before paternity leave had been introduced so my husband went back to work when our daughter was about 3 days old. NO WAY was he capable of functiioing at his best when he had had so little sleep. Not fair on him, me, baby or employer!

Belinda Whiteley
Belinda Whiteley
  • Elaine Jones

They get paternity leave from is

Elaine Jones
Elaine Jones
  • Elaine Jones

Not in the States it seems

Kelly McDonald Herod
Kelly McDonald Herod

Yes Dad's need the time to bond with their new child. Also with mother's suffering from post partuem depression having Dad around to help thru this time is extremely helpful. I had a bad case of post partuem and if it wasn't for my husband I don't know what I would have done.

Kara Argo
Kara Argo
  • Kelly McDonald Herod

And ur mother!

Kelly McDonald Herod
Kelly McDonald Herod
  • Kelly McDonald Herod

And Dad and my mother-in-law

Kristie Lynn
Kristie Lynn

I strongly dislike unedjucated people

Angela Deimling
Angela Deimling
  • Kristie Lynn

What if they can't afford an education? Are you still going to dislike them then? By the way, speaking of education, you spelled uneducated wrong. Maybe you should brush up on your spelling.

Kristie Lynn
Kristie Lynn
  • Kristie Lynn

That too

Kristie Lynn
Kristie Lynn
  • Kristie Lynn

I am not the best speller~~~~ i am learning first hand with my 3 kids how damn important it is to have a father figure in so many aspects of their lives~~~ including after the fact when they are babbies, if you don't have any other facts to come at me with besides my spelling, ounctuation, and or grammer~~~~ then find anouther comment to fight with~~~~ your out #rd~~~~~

Roger Epperhart
Roger Epperhart
  • Kristie Lynn

i dont like your photo,must have broke the bank for it.

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