....

Make up your own announcments. What? Emo's still are the scourge of the earth, and unless Nazi's come back riding dinosaurs, thats not going to change.

... and we are the antidote

04/29/08 - Alzheimer's disease and diabetes has been linked to an abundance of Emo in the blood stream. This is often due to the exposure of "AFI" or tight fitting jeans.

Our own Gulf War...

A little belated, but we finally have more members on "Stop The Emo Race" then combat soldiers have died in Iraq. That was our intent wasn't it?

Six Million Jews...

03/27/08 - Emos admit to masterminding the Holocaust. There you have it.

Underground Mascara Ring Busted, Emo's Arrested

15/03/08 - Police raided an underground mascara operation early this morning today. Dubbed “Operation Cry Me a F#%!ing River” the cops put at least fifteen kids behind bars. Their parents were very disappointed. “We had no idea,” claims Joyce Braunstein, one…Read More

Attack of the Clones!

Due to a shaky market, fears of a recession, and inflating prices for natural materials, Kleenex™ producer Kimberly-Clark has been forced to raise prices for their products. This set off massive protests by the Emo population who, being unnaturally sensitive…Read More

Ancient Emo Haiku

2/24/08 - Scientists discover ancient notes supposedly written by the samurai before traditionally taking there own lives. Experts on emology theorize that these people where the predecesors of the modern emo we know today. An example of an ancient emo…Read More
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