"To ensure that every child, whether rich or poor, has the ability to refuse a mullet."
People. Wake the Hell up.
Every 15 minutes, another child falls victim to a NCM (Non-Consensual Mullet). Experts believe that currently 1 out of every 4 children in America have received a NCM at some point in their life. This statistic is only expected to double every 5 minutes, over the next 6 decades.
Currently, congressional sub-committees are working around the clock to pass the No Child Without a Mullet Act. This bill is loaded with loop-holes that would allow for federal funding (YOUR taxpaying money) to make sure that any family, regardless of income, can afford to give their children mullets.
Act now, so that maybe one day, any and all children will grow up without knowing what a mullet is and why it was thought to be cool in the 80s.
1. Stop the spread of NCMs (Non-Consensual Mullets) in minors.
2. Prosecute all parents who believe that mullets are "badass"
3. Pass legislation to require that every child must provide 100% expressed written consent before a mullet is received.