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Part 3 Long Overdue

We had all his scans again back in April and they told us they came back clear. Well they were wrong. The doctor called us about 2 weeks after the scans and told us that his lymph nodes in his groin looked off. It could be cancer or it could be nothing. We are going back up there soon to see if they look different. When we were told this, I broke. I’m usually the first person to share news, but I just got quiet and didn’t want to talk about it. I’m tired of cancer. Just plain tired. Please pray its nothing.

I just wanted to say thank you to all the people who have helped us over the last 15 months to 4 years. I will never be able to say thank you enough. I know I probably don’t even know 3/4 of you who have helped. But please know how truly grateful we are for you. If you meet me and I don’t know who you are, please let me know. I also want to thank my friends both old and new. Without you I’m not sure what I would have done. I am so lucky. I have so many true friends. And I am so lucky because I have a few great best friends. Thank you for always lifting me up (sometimes quite literally lifting me up:) when I needed you. Thank you for putting up with my highs and my lows and never complaining. Thank you for being that shoulder I needed and knowing I am not such a tough ass. And to my mom: Just thank you. I love you. I couldn’t have done the last 4 years without you. And to Mike, my rock, my bear who really is just a big teddy bear, I love you. I know that I was meant to take this journey with you. You are an amazing father, husband and man. I am so proud of the man that you have become. I love your never ending faith. It takes a special kind of man to be able to deal with me and you just happen to be that special guy. I love you and I think if you and I haven’t killed each other yet, we should be good for the next 50 years:)

I’ve changed a lot through this journey. I heard this the other day and I thought it was perfect for the way I feel. “How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on? In your heart you begin to understand there is no going back. There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep; that have taken hold.” Lord of the Rings. I am different and I cannot go back to the person I once was. I live each day to the fullest. I wake each morning without regret. I have my car packed right now with a change of clothes for each of us, beach chairs, an umbrella, an umbrella stroller, rain jackets, sweatshirts, a blanket and a bag of beach toys just in case an opportunity presents itself. I live for today, not tomorrow. None of us knows what tomorrow may bring, but I am so glad I learned that now. Unfortunately, I can’t go back to my old life. I now know kids get cancer and they die. That is something that I can’t hide from. I have learned to set boundaries for myself. I know my limits when it comes to reading and falling in love with more kids. There will never be a day that I stop, but sometimes I just take a break.

Thank You God for the gift of Trey. Every day I wake to his beautiful smile and loving heart and little arms reaching for a hug. Thank You. Thank You for allowing me to hear his sweet little voice once again. Thank You for giving me the chance to see him do every little milestone. I will never take one single breath for granted. Thank You. Just thank You.
Please friends, I ask you to pray with all your heart for little Nick, his mom Denise and his Dad Brian. They were told yesterday that they don’t have much time left with Nick. NB has taken over his body. God I beg You for another miracle. I know all You have to do is say it is so. Please God say it is so.

Trey’s one scan and next set of scans are coming up. Please pray that Trey will forever remain cancer free. We need a cure and we need it now. Please considering donating (if you can) to Curesearch, Alex’s Lemonade Stand, St. Judes and the Get Well Gabby Foundation at www.getwellgabby.org

Faith, Hope and Trey Love-Missy

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