I hate my cone. It's itchy and gaudy and makes me look like a bobble-head when I walk. Worst of all, I can't chew on all my best bits.
But I, Squeegee Grinton, solemnly swear to wear this infernal contraption until I've raised $100 (that's $700 in dog dough) for the Guide Dogs For the Blind in San Rafael. They teach fellow furballs how to keep their human pets safe so they can both have a happier life.
Consider this cone my Movember, except it's not November and my mustache already covers my whole body.
(Okay, fine, I have to wear this cone anyway because of some allergy issues, but SOME dog may as well benefit from my great shame)