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I hate my cone. It's itchy and gaudy and makes me look like a bobble-head when I walk. Worst of all, I can't chew on all my best bits. 

But I, Squeegee Grinton, solemnly swear to wear this infernal contraption until I've raised $100 (that's $700 in dog dough) for the Guide Dogs For the Blind in San Rafael. They teach fellow furballs how to keep their human pets safe so they can both have a happier life.

Consider this cone my Movember, except it's not November and my mustache already covers my whole body. 

(Okay, fine, I have to wear this cone anyway because of some allergy issues, but SOME dog may as well benefit from my great shame)

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