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Independence Party

The best candidate for President is Ernie "Turtleman" Brown. If you never heard of him he is the featured Kentuckian in the show "Call of the Wildman".

Why you ask, does Ernie "Turtleman" Brown" deserves consideration, I submit the following three reasons.

1. The dude captures wild animals with his bare hands. No expensive tools or unnecessary hiring to get the job done. Ernie also excepts very little compensation for removing "critters" (Foxes, raccoons, beavers, skunks, etc..) an we know with Ernie, he will pursue fiscally sound policies and make our economy strong.

2. Ernie is a great dude and has a solid character. Ernie will be too busy chasing squirrels on the White house lawn to be distracted "chasing tail" or engaging in questionable activities like certain unmentioned former presidents.

3. Ernie's presidency will keep us laughing and liking each other a little bit more and therefore improve relations between all people. Even after a tough battle with critters, the Kentuckian Ernie has nothing but great things to say about other people As mentioned by my buddy Gary Wiggins he has a built-in VP in the way of banjo playing Neil James. Neil's ability to keep Turtleman out of danger would be the same skill set and wisdom we would need especially when it comes decisions about prudent use of the military and the best course of action related to foreign policy matters.

We need to put "funny" and simplicity back into the White House. Ernie could be considered the closest thing to a modern day Andrew Jackson whose populist platform attracted the admiration of many Americans in the 1800's much like the love and admiration of his 10 Million admirers across the United States. Ernie's enthusiasm, spirit and love for both humans and critters would make him a true symbol of humanity.

So, If you would nominate Turtleman as a third Party Independent candidate please hit the like button


Arnie Chowhound Chapman

This petition closed over 1 year ago

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