The reason we need more support, time, and donations have bigger network of support

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http://www.spreaker.com/user/birthmom/birth_moms_live

I am starting something I've needed to do and been scared to do for 4 years. It's time I tell my story and demand (or at least tell someone...

For just a second, put on the shoes of a birth parent. Imagine parting with your child. Imagine believing that it is your only option. Imagine believing that it is right. It still hurts, doesn't it? Now that you've got that feeling down, imagine someone has told you that you don't have a right to be sad. Or shed tears. Or miss your child. Hard to find a place to fit in again, huh? Most people thing you are crazy if you want to remember or talk about your child. So yeah it is really akward with some to want to talk about your child.

I know you still remember On that April Day When you gave birth to me and had to walk away I know it is not because You did not care for me You only wanted what was best And that is how it had to be It takes a very strong person To give a child away Doing what is right for the child No matter what others might say I think of you often And wonder who you are If I will ever know you And if I am up to par I hope to get the chance To talk to you some day I have so many questions So many things to say I want you to know that I love you And I always will I hope to have the opportunity To tell you how I feel All I can hope for Is that you feel the same way Please do not turn away from me And not hear what I have to say I promise to honor whatever you choose I have to take a chance and find you what have I got to lose Poem to my Birthmom by Patti Vinsison

Everyone was worried I would get too attached, and of course I did! But I wanted to love on her as much as I could, while I could. I think I proved to agency that a birth mom can get attached & still go through with the adoption. We do it because we love them, not because we “weren’t attached yet.” But I miss her more than anything now! I didn’t ever think it could (or anything could) hurt this bad. It’s like loosing a piece of me bigger than I knew I had. I learned how precious life is & how lucky we are to be given it. There were more crazy twists & turns during it all. I got eclampesia & had emergency natural labor(some advil) She had a false alarm illness, hospital on the 15th day. I suppressed rape & pregnancy until the 7th month! I lived w/ 30 pregnant women in dorms & lot of other fun stuff that all connected together in the end. Now I'm here to help women in my situation and be there for them like I needed someone there for me. It's a long story....

It’s hard to even describe, but I loved her before I ever held her. I wish I could of provided all that she deserved in life, but that wasn’t in God’s plan. She needed a father & a mother (plus a big bro 2 protect her). And God had them picked long ago. It was the most painful day of my life, and the most joyful too, when I gave my daughter to her mom & dad. (Or as I say, gave her the gift of them) They had been praying for her since day one! If not for this fam­ily & God’s assurance, I doubt I would of gone through. Usually adoptions take place 4 days after birth (in Texas) but because of legal issues w father signature, I GOT A WHOLE 31 DAYS with her! These were the best days of my life!

We want to provide www.birthmommission.com the young women in the future with the knowledge and support that we wish we had from a birth mother. Someone unbiased to talk to us, inform us, guide us, emphasize with us, and answer all our silly questions. One goal of the mission is to someday see every pregnant woman that is considering adoption, to have at least one birth mother mentor.

This disenfranchised grief is when the grief is connected with a loss which cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned or socially supported. In many cases of disenfranchised grief, the relationship is not recognized, the loss is not recognized or the griever is not recognized. The loss of a child through adoption is usually a loss which cannot be openly acknowledged, which is why mothers often suffer in silence...people who have experienced any type of loss often feel anger, guilt, sadness, depression, hopelessness and numbness and that in cases of disenfranchised grief, these feelings can persist for a very long time. The lack of recognition of their grief often results in them holding on to it more tenaciously than they might otherwise have done.